


Can we share?

by pullmyfingerCRASHgiggles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Best Friends, Castiel and Dean Winchester Grow Up Together, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Holding Hands, M/M, Older Dean, Panicking Dean, Protective Dean Winchester, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Younger Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-10 01:30:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5563591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pullmyfingerCRASHgiggles/pseuds/pullmyfingerCRASHgiggles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas and Dean have known each other since Cas was born. They live on the same street and Sam is Cas' best friend. Cas is always staying at the Winchester home but he had terrible bad dreams, Dean offers to share the bed and the habit stuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just for tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Michael is 18  
> Luc is 17  
> Gabriel is 14  
> Anna is 12  
> Castiel is 4  
> Dean is 8  
> Sam is 4

Mary Winchester had always liked the Novak family across the road. ~~~~

  
They appeared to have everything yet they were very humble and nice people;  
They were very wealthy.  
They were all very beautiful.  
The children were very respectful and you could see them mowing lawns or washing cars for neighbours.

  
But Mr and Mrs Novak liked to use their wealth on expensive holidays or weekend vacations away from the children.

  
Michael was the oldest and so was trusted to look after his younger siblings; Luc, Gabriel, Anna and Castiel.

  
Castiel was only four and was not being looked after by his older siblings well, he’s go for days without a bath and changing his clothes and would often be playing outside in the garden without any supervision.

  
Mary didn’t blame the older Novak children; they were typical teenagers who were more interested in their social lives than looking after their youngest brother. Instead she offered to take care of Castiel whenever Mr and Mrs Novak were away.   
Castiel and Sam were in the same Kindergarten so it seemed like a good idea.

  
Mrs Novak insisted on paying Mary for her troubles, but of course Mary would have done it for free, she used the money to take Castiel and her boys on day trips whenever Castiel was over.

The days weren’t the problem, the nights were.

  
Castiel had never slept anywhere apart from home and he would usually climb into his parent’s bed, failing that, one of his sibling’s beds. It was his first time in his own bed and he had terrible nightmares. John put his foot down, saying that Castiel must learn to sleep alone and grow up.

  
So it continued, every time Castiel would stay over, Mary and Dean (being light sleepers) would wake up in the middle of the night to Castiel screaming for a member of his family.

  
Castiel looked terribly tired and was grumpy when he woke up, Dean liked Castiel and thought he was a great kid but hated it when he was grouchy with him so he stayed up one night, so he could go and calm Castiel down before he woke Mary up. 

Sure enough, around 11pm Dean started to hear rustling in the spare bedroom, followed by someone crying. Dean crept out of his room and along the landing, pushing Castiel’s door open, Castiel was sleeping with his eyes scrunched and he was thrashing about, calling out for Gabriel. 

“Hey, Castiel. Wake up, buddy.” Dean shook his shoulders.

Nothing.

  
“Cas, c’mon. It’s Dean.”

  
Castiel woke with a start and immediately started crying.

  
“Hey, c’mere. You’re okay.” Dean whispered and put an arm around the younger boy. “Let’s go to my room okay?”

  
Cas wasn’t talking and didn’t show any sign of moving anytime soon.

  
Dean thought how big Castiel was, he was pretty small for a four year old, a little smaller than Sammy and he could pick up Sammy no problem.   
Dean let go of Cas and moved so his hand were under his arms, lifting the younger boy easily. Castiel rested on Dean and let himself be carried into Dean’s bedroom.

  
Dean kicked the door shut and grabbed his favourite Batman toy from his shelf and handed it to Cas as he set him down on his feet.

“Here, sleep in my bed for tonight.”

“Where will you sleep?” Cas sniffed and clasped the Batman.

  
“With you, Dummy.”

  
Cas nodded and climbed into Dean’s bed, Dean scrambled in beside him and covering them both, he could sleep without his Batman for one night. He was in the second grade now.

  
Mary woke up automatically at 2am, expecting to hear Cas shouting in his sleep but she heard nothing, concerned she got up to check on him and found his door open and no Cas. She rolled her eyes and looked in Sam’s room, expecting Sam to have let Cas sleep in his room but Cas wasn’t there.

  
She checked Dean’s room, ready to tell Cas that Dean wouldn’t like it if Cas was in there but she saw that Cas was asleep, holding Dean’s favourite toy and Dean was asleep beside him holding a different toy, almost like Dean had given him the toy.

  
Mary shrugged and went back to bed.

  
From then on Cas would always get into Dean’s bed, and if he didn’t, Dean would go and get him.

  
After a while Cas gave Dean’s Batman toy back and settled for holding Dean’s hand if he thought he was going to have a bad dream.

  
It was innocent; no one thought anything of it.

Dean was like a sweet older brother, he would do the same for Sam.

  
It wasn’t Cas’ fault he was scared of being alone

  



	2. Be My Valentine?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four years later  
> Cas is 8  
> Dean is 13 (Only just, since his birthday is in January)  
> Sam is 8  
> Michael is 22 (moved out)  
> Luc is 21 (moved out)  
> Gabriel is 18  
> Anna is 16

 

  
“Just pick a card, Dean.” Mary sighed, hands on her hips.

  
They were scheduled to be going to the zoo today but Dean had insisted that he needed a valentines day card for Rhonda Hurley on Monday.

  
“I can’t just pick a card, Mom. She’s 14, she’ll expect something sophisticated.”

  
“Pick the glittery one.” Cas pointed to the bright red and pink card covered in glitter.

  
“That one says wife, Dumbo. She ain’t my wife.” Dean rolled his eyes but ruffled Cas’ hair. “Pick from that part.” He nodded towards the ‘be my valentine’ cards.

  
“Mary, we wanna pick one.” Cas tugged on Mary’s sleeve.

  
“And which lucky girls have your hearts boys?” Mary laughed softly as she followed Sam and Cas down the aisle, leaving Dean to mull over the cards.

  
“Lucy Mitchell, she sits with me in math class.” Sam reached for the biggest card.

  
“And you Cas?” Mary smiled at the boy who might as well of been her third son.

  
“Wait, it’s supposed to be someone you like best right?”

  
“Yes, you’re Mom and Dad will get one for each other and I will get one for John.”

  
“Because you like him best?”

  
“Yes.”

  
“Okay, I want to get one for Dean.”

  
“Dean?”Sam asked. “But I'm your best friend, you said so.”

  
“Yes, but you have to get a card for someone who’s not your best friend, or it would be best friend day, duh.” Cas rolled his eyes.

  
“Oh, okay. I’ll get you a best friend card then.”Sam flipped his hair out of his face. 

  
“Me too. Can I get this one, Mary?” Cas held up a bright pink card with sequins and glitter splattered all over it.

  
“Cas, sweetheart, you can’t get Dean that one.”

  
“Why not?” Cas pouted.

  
“Because he doesn’t like pink, or flowers or hearts. What does he like?”

  
“He likes Batman and pies and he likes wrestling and he likes pretending to be a cowboy but only when we’re at home and sometimes he likes running but that’s only when we’re pretending that there’s big wolves chasing us, I don’t think he likes that game but he still plays it.”

  
“Okay, I don’t think we’ll find that card here, how about tonight we make one while Dean goes to Benny’s house?”

  
Cas nodded almost violently.

  
“Great, now get him to hurry up will you.”

  
Cas and Sam ran off to hurry Dean up while Mary quickly sent John a text, _‘You owe me five bucks’._

  
“C’mon boys, we’re gonna be stuck in traffic. Dean move your ass!"

  
“I got one.”

  
Dean came running back with a pink and red glittery card much like the wife one that Cas had picked out but instead it said ‘Will you be my valentine?’ on the front.

  
“You not getting a card, Cas?” Dean asked on the way to the zoo.

  
Cas and Sam shared a look. “I'm making one. The person I'm giving a card to doesn’t like pink, or glitter or flowers.”

  
“You sure your valentine is a girl, buddy?” Dean teased.

  
“Does it have to be?”

  
“Of course not.” Mary butted in. “You can give your card to whoever you want.”

  
Cas nodded and carried on reading his book, eventually falling asleep and leaning on Dean’s shoulder.

  
“Hey, Sammy.” Dean whispered. “Who’s Cas’ card for?”

  
Sam shrugged.

“Liar, he tells you everything.”

  
“If Cas wants you to know he’ll tell you.” Sam rolled his eyes.

  
“Bitch.”

  
“Dean!” Mary warned.

  
“Jerk.”

  
“Sam!”

“Sorry Mom.” They both hung their heads. 

* * *

   
While John made dinner, Mary and Sam helped Cas with his card for Dean.  
It had some glitter on it but Cas made sure it was blue, Mary also promised to bake Dean a special pie that Cas could give to him. 

“Put it somewhere safe until Monday okay?”

Cas nodded and put it in the guest bedroom, under the covers so Dean wouldn’t see it.

“I'm getting Dean, boys go to bed, see you in the morning.” Mary gave each of them a kiss on the head and sent them upstairs. 

* * *

Cas went straight to Dean’s bedroom instead of the guest, in case Dean saw the card when he came to get him in the night. 

Soon John was the only one awake in the house until Dean and Mary came home. 

Dean went straight to the guest room to get Cas before his bad dreams started. 

“Cas, c’mon. Time for me to be in bed too.” Dean whispered.

Nothing. 

“Hurry up, man or you’re on your own all night.”

Nothing.

“Cas, are you okay?” Dean went to the bed and pulled off the covers, finding a card but no Cas.

  
He smirked and flipped the card over, seeing it covered in hand-drawn pies and batman symbols, looking like the glitter fairy had thrown up on it  
He looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was around, once certain that it was okay he opened the sticky card.

  
‘To _Dean_  
 _Merry Valuntynes day_  
 _I like you the best_  
 _Love from Cas x’_

Dean read it again, and another time just to be sure. 

Cas was going to give him a Valentine’s day card? Him?

Dean stayed in the spare bedroom for a while, looking at the card.   
Cas must have worked on this for ages, he was just a kid, and it didn’t mean anything serious after all. He probably thought it was something that friends gave to each other.

Dean shrugged and put the card back, going to join Cas in his room. 

Cas was snuggled up in his bed, already fast asleep, but the slight scrunch in his eyebrows told Dean that the bad dreams would start soon.

  
Dean quickly got into his PJs and slid in next to Cas, grabbed his hand and waited until Cas’ breathing returned to normal before he closed his eyes and went to sleep himself.

  
Cas ended up waking up Mary at the crack of dawn to help him cook breakfast with the special heart shaped egg cutter.

  
Mary set Johns presents on the counter while Cas set Dean’s card and piping hot pecan pie next to them.

  
Cas then ran upstairs to go and wake everybody up for Valentine’s day, not caring that it was barely 6am. 

  
“IT’S NOT EVEN SIX CAS, LET ME SLEEP!” Sam and Dean both yelled.

  
“IT’S VALENTINES DAY YOU CAN SLEEP TOMORROW. GET UP IT’S EGGS.”

  
“WILL YOU SHUT UP IF I GET UP?”

  
“For a little while.” Cas grinned up at Dean and ran downstairs to hide the card behind his back.

  
“Thanks Mom.” Sam sat at the table and started his eggs and pancakes.

  
“Dean, I got you something.”

  
“More sleep?” Dean grumbled.

  
“No, something else.”

  
Dean smirked but held out his hand, closing his eyes.

  
Cas placed the card in his hand, “The other thing is too hot so I’ll leave that here. You can open your eyes.”

  
Dean looked at the card he’s already seen and grinned.

  
“To Dean, Merry Valentine’s Day, I like you best, love from Cas.”

  
“Do you like it?” Cas bit his lip.

  
“Yeah, I do Cas. Thank you.” Dean scooped the eight year old up into a bear hug. “I like you best too.”

  
“The other present is a pie.”

  
“Pie?”

  
John and Mary let out a sigh of relief, breakfast carrying on as normal.

  
Mary’s phone buzzed. ' _Looks like we won’t be back in town until Wednesday, are you okay with Castiel until then?'_

“Cas, are you okay staying with us for a couple more days, sweetheart?”

  
“You can still stay in my bed, dummy.” Dean whispered.

  
Cas nodded. “Yes. That’s okay.” 


	3. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About two years later...  
> Dean: 14  
> Jo:14  
> Benny:15  
> Cas: 10  
> Sam: 10  
> Michael: 24 (living in France)  
> Luc: 23 (living in Germany)  
> Gabriel: 20 (At college in New York)  
> Anna: 18 (still at home)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean has some trouble explaining his complicated friendship with his brothers best friend and lashes out.

 

  
Cas still stayed over at least once a week at the Winchester home, Dean had no idea if Cas still had the bad dreams but they never took the chance, when Cas was over it was their room and both of them were comfortable with it.

* * *

 

  
Cas was supposed to be at home all weekend so Dean decided to invite some friends over for a sleepover. Mary asked Sam if he wanted to have Cas over but Cas said that he wanted to spend time at home since his parents had just come home from a very long business trip.

  
Dean, Benny and Jo were all up in Dean’s room watching horror movies and teasing each other quietly so they wouldn’t wake anyone at 10pm, when the door bell rang.

  
Mary had been getting something to drink anyway and went to answer the door, Dean and his friends following in curiosity.

  
Mrs Novak was there, tears streaming down her face with a very sleepy looking Cas leaning on her.

  
“I'm so sorry, Mary. I know you were supposed to be off this weekend but my father has called from Italy, my mother has taken a turn. We have to go right away.”

  
“No worries, it’s no trouble. C’mere Cas.” Mary picked up the practically asleep ten year old. “Let me know.” Mary gave Mrs Novak a sympathetic look and a one armed hug and shut the door.

  
“Is Cas okay?” Dean asked.

  
“You three should be in bed.” Mary said sternly. “He’s just tired Dean, go to bed.”

  
Dean nodded but thought how he would explain to his friends that he let Cas share his very small single bed without it sounding weird.

  
“C’mon let’s go.” Jo tugged his arm and they went upstairs.

  
Dean listened to Cas and Mary downstairs and heard Cas crying.

  
“Guys, I’ll be back in a minute, I need some water. You want anything?”

  
“A beer.” Jo waggled her eyebrows.

  
“You’re Mom would kill me.”

  
“Exactly.” She grinned wickedly.

  
Dean shook his head and ran downstairs.

  
Cas was sat on the couch in his stupid bee PJs, with some milk and hugging Mary.

  
“What’s going on?” Dean asked.

  
“Grandma is gonna go to Heaven.” Cas sniffed.

  
Dean frowned, he’d never known his Grandparents but he knew that Cas must feel pretty crappy; he squeezed in beside Cas and Mary and gave Cas a hug.

  
“It’ll be okay, it’s a ton of fun up there right?”

  
“But I'm gonna not see her.”

  
“Remember what Mom says? Angels are watching over you?”

  
“Yeah.” Cas sipped his milk and handed it to Dean so he could have some.

  
“When you go to Heaven, you turn into an angel so your Grandma is gonna be looking out for you. You can still talk to her, like sometimes you talk to God at your church.”

  
Cas nodded and Mary smiled at how gentle her oldest son was being.

  
“C’mon I’ll take you to bed.” Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and led him to his room.

  
“Guys, Cas is staying with us tonight, no more horror movies.” Dean announced.

  
“Aww not fair, why can’t he stay with Sam.” Jo whined.

  
“Cos Sam’s asleep.” Dean rolled his eyes.

  
“Where will he sleep? there aren’t any more sleeping bags.” Benny looked around the cramped room.

  
“Err we can both fit in my bed, right Cas?”

  
Cas nodded.

  
Benny and Jo looked at each other and immediately started laughing.

  
“Are you gay, brother?” Benny chuckled.

  
“Huh? No! I don’t even like him.”

  
“Listen, we don’t care if you are but little kids, that’s weird.” Jo scrunched her nose.

  
“I ain’t gay, Cas go sleep in the spare room.” Dean ordered.

  
“But...”

  
“Cas, go. You’re just a kid, we wanna stay up. Go away.” Dean almost yelled.

  
Cas’ eyes welled up.

  
“Don’t be a cry baby, Castiel. Get out.” Dean pushed Cas out of the room and turned back to his friends. “Texas Chainsaw anyone?”

* * *

 

  
Around 2am Benny and Jo were asleep and Dean hadn’t heard Cas shouting in his sleep. Maybe it was just a habit, maybe Cas didn’t really need anyone to sleep in the same bed anymore.

  
But Dean thought about what he’d said to Cas. He wasn’t even that mean with Sam.   
He’d kicked the kid while he was down.

  
“Dammit Cas.” He whispered and grabbed his old Batman toy.

  
He crept across the landing and knocked on the spare bedroom door,

“Cas, It’s me. I'm coming in.”

  
Cas was a lump on the bed, breathing steadily, he was awake.

  
“Cas, you know I didn’t mean what I said right? It was dumb; it’s dumb that you believe it too.” Dean sighed.

  
“Then why did you say it?” Cas’ voice was muffled. “If you didn’t mean it then why did you say it?”

  
Dean shut the door and walked over to the bed and sat down, putting a hand on Cas’ back.

  
“I-I don’t know. I say stupid things without thinking about it don’t I? You take forever to think about something to say but I just say it, you know that.”

  
“So the first thing you thought to say was that you don’t like me? You said that you liked me the best.”

  
“You know I like you best, Cas.”

  
“Why do you like me?”

  
“I don’t know, I just do. I'm really sorry, buddy.” Dean tried to rub circles on Cas’ back but he jerked away.

  
Dean sighed and put the Batman toy on the pillow, then kissed the younger boys hair before leaving the room and going downstairs.

No way was he going to be able to climb over Benny and Jo a second time without waking them.

  
Dean lay on the couch with the spare blanket and tried to fall asleep; as he drifted off he heard the stairs creak and the living room door open.

  
There was a very quiet thud on the cabinet and a warm smaller body climbing under the blanket beside him.

  
Dean smiled and searched for Cas’ hand, squeezing it hard.

  
“I was an idiot, Cas.”   
Cas nodded but squeezed back.

  
As Cas’ breathing started to get a heavy rhythm Dean let his eyes close,

  
“I like you because you’re way too old to be ten, I like you because you’re really smart, I remember when we went to yours and Sammy’s school show and you shouted your lines because we were right at the back and you wanted us to hear you, I like you because you really love cheeseburgers, I like you because you’re the best at running and at climbing trees, I like you because you have this big smile that you only do when I make you laugh and it’s really special. I just really like you, Cas. Nothing could change that. I swear to God.”

  
“Thank you, Dean.” Cas whispered sleepily.

  
“Get some sleep, Nerd.” Dean smiled and squeezed Cas’ hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be up later today, let me know how you're finding this!  
> Much love, Ebz xx


	4. Crush? What Crush?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a crush on a girl at school and confides in Dean.  
> But why is Dean acting overly protective all of a sudden, and what the Hell is Cas' brain doing thinking up dreams like that?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean is 16  
> Sam is 12  
> Cas is 12 (very nearly 13)  
> Cas' siblings have all moved out now.

* * *

It was a normal weekend for the Winchester’s.  
Cas had been over all week and was staying on Friday night too, Sam and Dean loved it when Cas stayed on Fridays because Friday was take out night and they could stay up late.  
It mattered more to Sam and Cas really, since Dean turned 16 he was allowed to be out until 10pm and he could go to bed whenever he wanted to. But Cas and Sam at 12 were allowed to stay up until 11pm on Fridays.  
Dean would always get home a few minutes before 10pm and bring some popcorn and the boys would sit on the couch in the spare blanket and watch X-files until it was time for Cas and Sam to go to bed.  
Cas would go straight to Dean’s room and text Sam until Dean came upstairs, they could be texting for two or three hours on some nights even though they were twenty feet away from each other.  
Once Dean came upstairs they stopped texting and Cas and Dean would talk very quietly for an hour or so about anything in the world. This Friday was a little different.  
Cas heard Dean come upstairs so he texted a quick goodnight to Sam and put his phone under the pillow.  
“Hey, Cas.” Dean whispered.  
“Hello.” Cas mumbled, faking a yawn.  
“You wanna go straight to sleep, huh?”  
Cas faked another yawn and nodded, hearing Dean put his PJs on.  
Before Cas could say his excuse of a long day at school Dean had already pulled him to sitting upright.  
“What’s going on in that funny mind, huh? Something’s bugging you.” Dean poked Cas’ head.  
“Ow!”  
“Liar.” Dean chuckled. “C’mon, tell me.”  
“It’s private.”  
“You tell me everything, c’mon. It’s not like I'm gonna march into middle school and tell everyone.”  
Cas thought about it, Dean wouldn’t do that, unless he got really mad at him. But he wouldn’t get that mad, he never got super mad at Cas.  
“At school...”  
“Is someone bullying you?” Dean’s face instantly changed to ferocious.  
“No, Dean I...”  
“Because if they are, Cas I swear I’ll...”  
“Dean! Listen to me dammit!” Cas whisper-yelled. “I'm not being bullied, there’s a girl.”  
Dean stared blankly at Cas.  
“Dean! Are you listening, I have a crush.”  
“A crush? What crush?”  
“I have a crush.”  
“I gathered that genius.” Dean spat.  
“Why are you being so mean about this? You’re the one who wanted to know.” Cas glared.  
“Who is she?”  
“Her name is Meg and she’s not really very nice until you get to know her but we talk a lot at school and I really like her.”  
“How do you know that you like her? You’re not even thirteen yet Cas.”  
“You had your first girlfriend before you were thirteen”.” Cas argued.  
“Fine, so what’s your problem?”  
“She likes me too...”  
“Great, go for it.” Dean rolled his eyes.  
“No, you’re not letting me finish. She wants to kiss me but I don’t know how. And you kiss girls a lot so”  
“Gee way to make me sound like a slut, Cas.”  
“You know what I mean.” Cas crossed his arms.  
“You just have to go with how you feel y’know?”  
“No, I don’t know.”  
“In the movies, when they’re kissing. Do it like that.”  
“But I don’t know how to do it like that! That’s my problem.”  
“Alright! Don’t get your knickers in a twist. C’mere, I’ll show you.” Dean sighed.  
“So you sit like this, looking at each other. You’ll make the first move officially but technically she will.”  
“How?”  
“Because she’ll lean closer and her eyes will close a little bit, when that happens you need to put one hand on her cheek like this.” Dean put one hand on Cas’ cheek and leant in.  
“And what she’ll do then is completely close her eyes, that’s when you figure out which way to tilt your head so you don’t head butt her.” Dean chuckled. “What I like to do is wait infront of her face for a half second so she knows what you’re gonna do and then she can easily stop you if she doesn’t want you to kiss her.”  
Cas’ entire face was a light pink and warm under Dean’s palm.  
“And what if she does pull away?”  
“Then you apologise and get out of there, I doubt that will happen though, Casanova.” Dean winked, taking his hand away from the younger boys cheek.  
“Alright, what if I do it wrong?”  
“How old is she?”  
“She’s 13.”  
“She probably hasn’t kissed many people either, so if you do suck at it, she’s not gonna know.” Dean grinned.  
“Was that supposed to be comforting?” Cas cracked a small smile.  
“I should start charging.” Dean smirked and lay down. “Get some sleep, buddy.”  
“Okay, Goodnight Dean.”  
“Goodnight Cas.”  
Cas had a weird dream, he dreamt of the conversation he’d just had.

  
_“you put one hand on her cheek like this.” Dream Dean said softly and put his hand on Cas’ cheek feather light, Cas brought his hand up and held Dean’s hand there._  
 _“Close your eyes, Cas.” Dream Dean whispered._  
 _Cas did as he was told and leant closer to Dean, he knew Dean was inches away from his face because he could feel his warm breath tickling his nose._  
 _Dream Dean leant in and closed the space, kissing Cas’ lips softly, Cas pushed his lips forwards and clasped Dean’s free hand in his own_

  
Cas woke up with a gasp, his lips tingling , he looked down to his hand and he was holding Dean’s hand but not like he usually did, he was holding his hand like Mom and Dad held hands, their fingers intertwined together. Dean’s eyelids fluttered so Cas immeadiatly turned back over and pretended to be asleep.  
Cas knew what a crush was, he wasn’t an idiot and he thought that he had a crush on Meg but he never had a dream like that about Meg.  
Dean was only trying to help him kiss Meg and his brain had twisted the entire situation and made the dream seem so real.  
It was probably because of his feelings for Meg, they got him all muddled up, once he kissed Meg he would be okay and stop thinking about that dream.  
Beside him, Dean was also having trouble with the fact that he’d cupped a twelve year olds face and he had to stop himself from kissing him. Maybe that’s why he was being such a douche about Cas having a crush?  
No.  
No way does Dean Winchester have a crush on a twelve year old kid.  
That’s just sick.  
He was just protective. Yeah. He’d be the same if Sam came home with a crush.  
Cas was probably freaked out by it and wouldn’t want to be near Sam’s way too touchy older brother any more. Dammit.  
Cas whispered something in his sleep, which he only did if something was troubling him.  
Dean pushed the stray hair from Cas’ face, “Dean.” Cas whispered.  
Dean froze, thinking he’d been caught, but Cas squirmed and let out a huge sigh, showing he was still very much asleep, Cas wriggled until he was lay practically on top of Dean.  
“Oh no you don’t.” Dean whispered and gently lifted Cas off him and back to his side of the bed.  
Cas whispered his name again, making Dean blush even though no one else was in the room.  
Cas grabbed at Dean until he found his hand and held it in a different way to usual.  
Dean tried to think nothing of it.  
What a weird night.  
He quickly texted Lisa and told her he’d pick her up around 7pm for their date and prayed sleep would come quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the seemingly random spacing between the lines, this laptop is honestly breaking my soul with the way it types :') xx


	5. You're safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is 18  
> Sam is 14  
> Cas is 14  
> Gabriel is 24  
> (This is a few montsh before Dean is leaving for college)  
> Cas is starting to figure out his feelings for Dean and so is Gabriel.  
> Gabriel is concerned that his younger brother is going to get his heart broken so encourages him to distance himself from Dean in small steps, such as sleeping on his own.

Cas didn’t stay over as much anymore. 

His parents didn’t go away as often because they wanted to save some money so Castiel could go to a good college, he and Sam had their hearts set of Stanford University.  
Also Gabriel had moved back home so when Gabriel wasn’t out or at work, Cas usually stayed at home. 

Dean was a little hurt that Cas didn’t stay over as much, and he blamed himself really.  
They still shared the bed but Dean never really came home until the early hours at the weekend and he was usually drunk, leaving Cas to deal with him.  
But he had no idea what was really going on in Cas’ world.  
Cas was trying to distance himself from Dean. 

He knew he was way too dependent on the older boy and soon, Dean would be away at college and Cas wouldn’t have anyone to share the bed with and no one to talk to until 3am and he wouldn’t have Dean’s hand to hold if the bad dreams started. He knew he sounded like a baby but it was a habit that he couldn’t shake himself out of and he wondered if Dean was feeling the same way.  
“Hey baby bro, why the long face?” Gabriel threw himself onto Cas’ bed.  
“I'm not a baby.” Cas glared.  
“You’re my baby brother, nothing you can do to change that. What’s up?”  
“Nothing.”  
“I’ll give you a lollipop if you tell me.”  
“I'm not seven, Gabriel.” Cas shouted.  
“Whoa!” Gabriel held his hands up. “Is something going on?”  
Cas lay down with his hands over his face. “I don’t know. I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel.”  
“What about?”  
“Dean.” Cas sighed heavily.  
“Dean across the road?”  
“Yes. Who else would it be?”  
“Why do you not know how to feel about him? He’s like another brother right?”  
“Not exactly. I don’t know. That’s why I'm so confused. He’s like a brother because he’s funny and he looks out for me but then he’s like my best friend too because we can talk for hours and hours and we tell each other everything.”  
“Is there a third part?”  
“Yeah.” Cas took a deep breath and sighed again. “I think there’s something different with us. He treats me like he does Sam but he never really shouts at me and he lets me share the bed with him, but he wouldn’t let Sam anymore and I just feel funny about him.”  
“Feel funny?” Gabriel kept his face composed, he never really got Cas to open up this much.  
“Yeah.”  
“Funny how? A bad way?”  
“No. In a weird way.”  
“Helpful Cassie.”  
“When I used to share the bed with you it was normal, it felt just like this but when I share with Dean my stomach does weird flips and I feel like I need to move all over the place but I can’t move at the same time.”  
Gabriel was struck with sudden realisation, but quickly hid it. “Sounds like you need to have your own space at their house, your own bed. You do fine sleeping in your bed here.”  
Cas shook his head. “I still have nightmares. I just wake up before I start to wake Mom and Dad up.”  
“Maybe you need a doctor.”  
“Maybe you should shut up.” Cas fake glared at his brother.  
“It could just be that you like sleeping close to somebody. Tonight, sleepover at their house and sleep in the spare room, it might all just be in your head, Cassie.”  
“I’ll try.” Cas frowned.  
“’Atta boy.” Gabriel grinned. “Now pack your bag and get your ass out, I'm inviting some friends over.”  
Cas smiled and hurried over, just in time for dinner.

 

“Told you he’d be here.” Sam stuck his tongue out.  
“It’s Friday, of course I'm here.” Cas took his usual place and dug in to his pasta. 

Dean went out with the promise that he’d be back to watch some TV with Cas and Sam later on so Sam and Cas decided to play some video games.  
11pm turned to 12, then to 1 and finally at 2 they gave up on Dean coming home anytime soon and headed upstairs. 

Cas automatically went to Dean’s room but remembered what his brother had told him and he turned back to the spare room. 

It was cold and almost empty, no one slept in this room apart from Mary when John was snoring too loud.  
Cas tiptoed over to the bed and slipped inside, keeping the curtains open so some moonlight got in.  
He took a deep breath and lay down, drifting to sleep.  
It was almost instant that the nightmares started.

 

  
_Cas was alone in Dean’s bedroom when suddenly the door swung open, making the room shake._  
_“Dean?” Cas squeaked._  
_“Castiel, what the fuck are you doing in my room?”_  
_“I was going to sleep, are you okay?” Cas asked, very used to an angry Dean coming home if he’d had a few drinks or gotten into a fight with his girlfriend._  
_“Get out.”_  
_“What?”_  
_“Get out; I don’t want you in here.” Dean dragged Cas by his shoulder out of his room and onto the landing._  
_Cas fell and hit the carpet, scraping his side with carpet burn but Dean picked him up by his arms._  
_“Dean! Let go, you’re hurting me.” Cas squirmed._  
_“Aw poor little Cassie, am I hurting you? Such a baby.” Dean laughed._  
_“Let me go!” Cas yelled, unable to stop the tears, Dean’s grip only tightened, making Cas’ arms burn._  
_Dean smirked and threw Cas across the landing, towards the spare bedroom, Cas quickly reached for the handle but Dean kicked him._  
_“I MEANT GET OUT. OUT OF MY HOUSE. I DON’T WANT YOU IN HERE.”_  
_“B-but I thought we were friends?”_  
_“Friends?” Dean barked a laugh. “I was doing a little kid a favour, protecting you when your own parents were too busy to care about you. Even your brothers and sister didn’t look after you; they would rather go out and party than watch out for their baby brother. You’re pathetic, I'm DONE! YOU HEAR ME CAS?! DONE!” Dean roared and threw Cas down the stairs._  
_Cas covered his face as he saw Dean’s fist coming towards him but the blow never came, he peeked between his arms and saw that he was alone in the woods. Cas immediately stood up, barefoot and in nothing but his PJ pants and an old t-shirt. There was a growl from behind him, without stopping to think Cas ran, he ran as fast as he possibly could, screaming for someone to help him._  
_But no one came, maybe Dean was right and his parents really didn’t care. He was certainly right about Michael and Luc, he barely saw them growing up. He saw them at Christmas and he signed their birthday cards. Anna sometimes called him. But she never really showed an interest in being a sister. Dean was wrong about Gabriel, Gabriel cared. He was sure of it._  
_Cas found himself at the edge of a cliff; it was too dark to see what was over the edge, rocks or water. He couldn’t be sure; the large wolf came closer until Cas was wobbling over the edge._  
_He spotted Gabriel in the corner of his eye._  
_“GABE! HELP!” He managed to yell, which only made the wolf come closer._  
_“I'm coming Cassie, just wait. I gotta answer this.” Gabriel pulled his phone out._  
_“Oh hi, sugar plum, nah nothing serious. Baby bro is just gonna fall to his death. I know ironic right! Yeah, I’ll be over in five.” Gabriel put his phone away and the wolf stepped closer. “Sorry bro, see you up there.” Gabriel winked towards the sky then vanished into thin air._  
_Cas wobbled more and more, the wolf snarling and licking its lips._  
_“CAS!” Cas heard a familiar voice scream from far away, and that’s when he fell._  
_Cas fell right off the edge of the cliff and was screaming, but there was really no point in screaming. No one was around to hear it._  
_“CAS! DAMMIT!” Cas heard the voice again, very deep and closer._  
_He landed and it was warm, he felt safe._

 

  
Cas opened his eyes and found they were wet, his eyes were full of tears and it was dark where he was but he was still warm, very warm.  
“Shhh shhhh, you’re okay.” The voice soothed and stroked his hair. “I'm here, Cas. You’re okay.”  
Cas turned and buried his face in their chest, knowing that the voice was telling the truth.

 

When Cas woke up again it was light outside and he was still in the guest bedroom, covered in the blanket.  
“Morning sleepy head.” He heard Dean chuckle. “Or afternoon.”  
“Wake me up tomorrow.” Cas groaned and squeezed Dean’s hand, lying back down.  
“Sure thing.” Dean grinned and squeezed Cas’ hand back. 


	6. Kinda like us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of Cas' nightmare but from Dean's perspective.   
> Dean is opening up to Cas a little and it just makes Cas even more confused on his feelings for the older Winchester.

  
Dean had been petrified when he’d come home around 3am and instantly heard Cas yelling upstairs, at first he thought it was from his room but it was in the guest room, Mary was already in there trying to soothe Cas but Cas was simply not waking up.   
“GABE!” Cas sobbed, thrashing at the covers until they were completely off.   
Dean felt a stab of guilt that he hadn’t come home when he promised and Cas would be safely dreaming in his bed right now, but instead the poor kid was giving Mary and Dean mild heart attacks with how he wasn’t even waking up when they shook him hard.   
“Help, I'm- I'm g-DEAN!” Cas shrieked, Dean heard footsteps.   
“What’s going on?” John rubbed his eyes.   
Dean took over Mary trying to get Cas awake.   
“Call Gabriel, John.” Dean heard Mary say.   
“Cas! Dammit.” Dean shook Cas again, not wanting Cas to go home in such a state. “Wait, I can get him up, Mom, I can wake him up.”   
Mary nodded and gave them both a worried glance, Dean slipping into the bed and pulling Cas into his lap, holding his arms down so he’d stop fighting him.   
Dean held Cas tighter until he saw a flash of blue, Cas was finally awake, tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was shaking violently.   
“Shhh shhhh, you’re okay.” Dean stroked Cas’ sweaty hair away from his face and wiped the tears away, “I'm here, Cas. You’re okay.”   
Cas didn’t look like he’d registered that Dean was even there but he turned over, burying himself in Dean’s chest, clinging onto his t-shirt.   
Dean stroked his back until his breathing steadied and he was asleep again.

The next night Cas had been downstairs until 2am, playing video games.

  
Sam had stayed up until 1am but was too tired to carry on and took himself to bed,

Dean stayed with Cas.   
“C’mon, you’re not even trying!” Cas grinned as he blew up Dean’s last team member.   
“I'm tired, man.” Dean yawned.   
“Go to bed if you want to.” Cas shrugged and carried on with the game.   
“Are you coming?”  
Cas shook his head.   
“I know what you’re doing. You can’t avoid going to sleep, Cas.”   
“I'm not tired.”   
“Liar.” Dean sighed. “Look, I’ll get you some milk and we’ll go up to my room, we don’t have to sleep straight away but I want you to try.” 

“Dean?”  
“Yeah, Cas?”  
“Why do I have bad dreams all the time?”  
“I dunno, man.” Dean sighed and pulled Cas by his arm, turning the TV off as he led Cas upstairs.   
“It’s not normal; none of my friends at school have bad dreams whenever they don’t share. Sam’s never needed to share.”   
“Everyone has their little things, buddy. Sam believed in the Easter bunny two years ago.”   
“The Easter bunny isn’t real?” Cas mocked horror.   
Dean stopped and stared at Cas until he realised it was a joke. “Asshole.”   
“What’s your thing then? You seem perfect to me.” Cas asked, and then blushed furiously; luckily it wasn’t too noticeable on the dark landing.   
“Mine’s tricky, I don’t need it but without it I can’t sleep properly, I’ll wake up all tired and grumpy.”   
“Your Batman toy?”  
“You, Dummy.”   
“Oh.” Cas changed into his PJs and crawled into the safety of Dean’s bed.   
“Yeah, but if you ask me it’s not babyish at all.”   
“It is.”   
“No, it’s very grown up. Think about it, your Mom and Dad, my Mom and Dad. What do they have in common?”  
“Lots of things, I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”   
“They share the bed. Grownups always share the bed.”

Dean covered them both and turned on his side so he could make out Cas’ features.

  
“But they’re _together._ They love each other.”   
“You’re going too far into it. They share the bed because it’s the most comfortable thing to do, they know that if they have bad dreams they’ll have someone there who’ll let them know everything’s okay.”   
“Kinda like us?”  
“Exactly like us, now get some sleep.” Dean smiled and turned back over.   
Cas turned over as if he was going to sleep to but Dean’s words played over in his head.   
He’d compared their relationship to people who were in love, then didn’t take it back.   
Cas felt more confused than happy.   
What did that mean? That Dean felt something for Cas, that Cas felt something back.   
Was he in love with the eighteen year old lay sleeping beside him, who also happened to be his best friend’s brother?   
Cas’ head was spinning, until something nudged his hip.   
Dean’s hand, Cas slid his hand along his torso until it found Dean’s waiting hand.   
Dean answered with a happy sigh and Cas couldn’t stay awake much longer, drifting off to sleep, surrounded by the blanket which smelt safe and warm, which smelt like Dean. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter in a few days,  
> Happy New Year xx


	7. Boyfriend? What boyfriend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is 20 and in college.   
> Cas is 16 (almost 17) and has a boyfriend.   
> Dean is panicking about how he feels about Cas, as usual.   
> Cas/Balthazar  
> Protective!Dean also a little bit stalker(ish)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The age thing is strong with this one  
> Nothing sexual of course

Cas knew he was in deep with Dean once he was sixteen.

  
He knew it sounded stupid said out loud.

  
“I am a sixteen year old boy who has never been in a committed relationship and I'm in love with my best friends too old for me straight brother and I have been since I was a little kid, even though he’s practically my brother.”

  
It sounded straight up weird.

  
Cas knew he was gay, he’d known that for a long time.   
He’d confused romantic feelings with friendship feelings with Meg Masters, which Meg soon realised and called things off, setting him up with Balthazar from the grade above them.   
But that relationship was purely physical, they were close, but more like friends.

  
Their deal was that technically they were an ‘item’ but Balthazar didn’t do polygamy so as long as there was no sex involved, they could see other people.   
Balthazar saw lots of other people whilst Cas saw a couple here and there.

Nothing was ever overly romantic between them.

  
Cas was in way too deep with Dean to have any romantic feelings towards Balthazar.

But Cas had also accepted that nothing would happen with Dean, Dean was twenty and in college, always talking about the hot chicks he hooked up with at parties. He never mentioned any guys.   
Cas only slept well at the weekends, when he’d be sleeping beside Balthazar so he never needed to call Dean.  
During the week, Cas avoided sleeping at all costs. He’d usually last until Wednesday and end up calling Dean around 1am from nightmares early on Thursday morning.   
Dean would convince Cas to go to sleep on Thursday night and he’d always wake up and call Dean from the nightmare. 

Dean wondered why Cas never called him at the weekend.  
He figured he must be sharing the bed, but Sam and Cas would never fit in the same bed. Sam was growing like a string bean and both of them moved around in bed too much to share with one another.   
Dean called Sam one Saturday night.

  
“Dean, its 1am what the hell do you want?”

  
“Is Cas with you?”

  
“No, but surprisingly he has his own damn phone.” Sam growled.

  
“I know he does. Where is he?”

  
“I don’t know, probably with Balthazar.” Sam yawned.

  
“Who’s Balthazar?”

  
“His boyfriend, did he not tell you?”

  
“No. He didn’t. What’s Balthazar’s last name?”

  
“You’re not going to go all older brother and stalk him are you?”

  
“Of course I am.”

  
Sam sighed. “He’s called Balthazar Samneedshissleep. Goodnight Jerk.” Sam hung up with a huff and went straight back to sleep.

  
“Such a little bitch.” Dean groaned and opened Facebook on his laptop.

  
How many people called Balthazar could there be.   
It took all of two minutes to find the kid.   
_Balthazar Vinos_  
 _In a relationship with Castiel Novak_  
 _Two mutual friends, Sam Winchester and Castiel Novak._

  
Dean smiled smugly, all of Cas’ family were _his_ friend on Facebook and apparently none of them were Balthazar’s.  
His profile picture was a photo of him, Cas and a girl all grinning at the camera, each with a novelty huge glass of wine.

  
Dean scrolled through Balthazar’s wall.

  
The last status was a picture of Pizza and Netflix on the TV _\- Lazy day **with Castiel Novak**_

  
Each status had at least 30 likes; the douche kid probably deleted each status that didn’t. Dean thought and smirked.

  
It showed that over 140 people had posted a happy birthday message on Balthazar’s wall.   
Showing he was seventeen.   
Dean skipped to Cas’ message to him.

  
_Happy Birthday, Balth._   
_I never hear the end of it that I'm the baby in this relationship but today I'm not allowed to whine about it. Hope your day is amazing. Oh and I hope you’ll forgive me for these – Love Cas xoxo_

  
Attached were three embarrassingly awful photos of Balthazar which somehow he still looked okay in.

Balthazar had commented.   
_Thanks Baby, I'm getting you back for this. Whenever your birthday is, probably in five years?_

  
_Shut up, I hate you_ Cas had replied.

  
Dean pretended to throw up in his mouth even though nobody was there to laugh.

  
He scrolled until he found Balthazar’s snapchat and immediately added him.

  
He got a text a minute later from Cas,

  
_Why are you adding Balth on snapchat? -Cas_

  
_He’s your boyfriend- Dean_

  
_Yes- Cas_

  
_As yours and Sammy’s protector I'm obliged to stalk his every move.- Dean_

  
_That’s quite a title you have for yourself- Cas_

  
_If the shoe fits- Dean_

  
_Shut up- Cas_

  
Dean grinned, knowing that meant he’d made Cas laugh meaning that he’d won.

  
Balthazar accepted his request after Cas sent his last text and Dean checked out his story.

  
His story was full of selfies, then the picture of Lazy Day from Facebook, then some more selfies which included Cas, another picture of Cas’ cat, then one of Cas and the cat asleep on the couch, Dean couldn’t help but screenshot that one he’d use it for teasing rights.

  
Dean periodically checked Balthazar’s snapchat throughout the night, nothing really happened until three am when there was a photo of Cas tucked up into bed, obviously shirtless and with the messiest hair Dean had ever seen with the caption _‘Sleeping already, Cassie?’_

  
That made his blood boil.

This douche thought it was okay to take pictures without Cas knowing about it?!

  
Sure Dean had done the exact same but it was different because Cas laughed at them in the morning, did Cas laugh at the pictures Balthazar took? Probably not because he was practically naked in them.

  
Dean glared at Balthazar’s name on his phone.

  
“Girl trouble?” Benny walked into the living room, looking like walking crap.

  
“Cas trouble. He’s got a boyfriend.”

  
“Good for him.”

  
“No, this guy is not good for him.” Dean growled.

  
“Why?”

  
“He just isn’t. I want to go and punch him in the throat. Cas shouldn’t be with him.”

  
“Dean, are you jealous?” Benny smirked.

  
“No, I'm annoyed that Cas is way too naive to see how much of a douche this guy is.”

  
“Sure, brother. How old is Cas now? 18?” Benny waggled his eyebrows.

  
“He’s 16.”

  
“Dude.”

  
“What?”

  
“You cannot be jealous over a 16 year old kid.”

  
“I'm not.”

  
“Be careful, brother.” Benny shook his head and left the room.

  
Dean rolled his eyes at his roommate.

  
He thought back to when Sam told him he was dating Ruby.

  
Dean reacted like any older brother.

  
He gave Sammy a high-five and did some stalking and told Sam what he thought and that was, she seems nice but be careful she seems shady too. 

Dean stopped, that was completely different to how he reacted to Cas’ boyfriend.

  
But that didn’t mean anything right?

  
Sam could take care of himself; Cas was more naive and couldn’t see people the way Dean could.

  
It didn’t mean a damn thing, he certainly wasn’t jealous over Cas.

  
But when he was in bed all he thought was how empty it was and how Cas wasn’t having this trouble, Cas had Balthazar to be beside all night.

  
Fuck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken a while, I've been at work all week. Next chapter either tonight or tomorrow so keep an eye out x


	8. You're in love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is 17   
> Dean is 21  
> Cas admits he's in love with Dean to Balthazar and he's on a roll with taking action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Age gap is strong with this one.   
> NO SEXUAL THINGS/ITS NOT SEXUAL

“What the fuck are you talking about, you’re in love?”

  
“Not with you. With someone else.”

  
“Castiel, what the hell are you talking about?!” Balthazar yelled.

  
“Shh! You’re gonna wake my parents up." Cas glared."I don’t know how else to say it.”

  
“Crowley?”

  
“What?! No! Why would you even think that?”

  
“You spend a lot of time with the guy and you seem to have a thing for the British.” Balthazar gestured toward himself.

  
“No, we just share a lot of classes. Not Crowley.”

  
“Sam Winchester? I thought he was your best friend.”

  
“No, will you shut up and listen?”

  
“Go on, I'm all ears on hearing who else you’re in love with, _babe_.” Balthazar glared icily.

  
“There’s no point telling you who because it would never work out.” Cas sighed. “But it’s not fair to keep being with you if I'm never going to be in love with you.”

  
“Way to be blunt. Why would it never work out?"

  
“He’s older and the straightest person I've ever met.”

  
“Dean?”

  
Cas looked down at his hands. “I'm sorry, Balth.”

  
“I knew already, you idiot.”

  
“You knew?”

  
Balthazar chuckled and pulled Cas into a hug. “Of course I did. I thought it was something you’d get over.”

  
“So did I.”

  
Balthazar sighed.

  
“It’s not that I don’t like being with you, I really like it. It’s just; it feels wrong when I want to be with him.”

  
“You said it yourself, it won’t happen. The guys older and into girls.”

  
Cas nodded. “But I have my driver’s license now, I can go and see him and something might happen.”

  
“Then he’d get locked up. You’re not 18 yet, baby. It’s too messy to work out, that’s even if he does like you in that way.”

  
“It’s not long until I'm 18.”

  
“4 months is still a while and he’s 21, maybe he’ll want someone his own age.”

  
“I hate love.” Cas groaned and lay down on his bed.

  
Balthazar chuckled. “So do I.”

  
“Why? Who have you loved?”

  
“Never been in love, but I've seen it ruin enough people. Look at the state you’re in right now and the other guy has no idea. Why would anyone want that?”

  
Cas nodded. “It’s stupid.”

  
“Get some sleep, I'm gonna go home. Goodnight, babe.” Balthazar kissed Cas roughly on the lips.

  
Cas rolled his eyes and got into bed, trying to pretend Balthazar was still there so he could sleep well.

  
But soon it was too quiet.

  
He couldn’t hear Balth’s soft breathing beside him or his shuffling around.

  
Cas was itching to call him to get him to come back.

  
But it was nearing 2am.

Cas didn’t end up sleeping.

  
He wasn’t upset about what happened with Balthazar but he also had no idea where they were right now.

  
He’d barely had any idea where they were before he’d confessed his love for Dean.

  
Cas spent most of his day over at the Sam’s house, playing video games with Sam and cooking with Mary.

  
But he went home around 10, not feeling like staying in the guest bedroom.

  
Cas kept thinking to his driver’s license and how he knew exactly where the keys to his new car were. His Dad had told him that he wasn’t to drive it at night, at least not until it stopped raining at night.

  
Cas yawned and knew if he even tried sleeping he’s wake up screaming.   
He could go to Balthazar’s house, but it was Saturday and Balthazar usually went to parties on Saturday’s.

  
Cas decided he had no choice but to drive all the way to Dean if he had any hope of sleeping that night.   
He decided to drive the two hours to Dean.

  
The rain wasn’t as bad as it could have been but Cas was defiantly glad to park the car and get out, climbing up the side of Dean’s apartment building, looking into each window to see anything recognisable.   
Dean sometimes would facetime him and Sam whilst sitting near the living room window and Cas could see the hideous plant.   
He saw the familiar travesty of mother nature and used his lock pick to open the window, Dean couldn’t get mad, he’d been the one who’d taught him how to use it.

  
Dean, being the light sleeper he’s always been, was concerned when he heard scratching from the living room around 1am. It was too early for Benny to be home from work.   
Dean reached for the baseball bat he kept under his bed like any other cliché man would and crept to his bedroom door.

  
He heard the window creek open and a small thud, followed by someone fumbling around in the dark.

  
Dean ran out into the pitch black room and swung the bat, colliding with a body.

  
The intruder yelled and hissed in pain.

  
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT ASSHOLE?”

  
“DEAN! IT’S ME! IT’S CAS, STOP HITTING ME!” Cas shrieked, covering his face.

  
“CAS? Cas, what the fuck are you doing here.” Dean knelt down and felt around for Cas, dropping the bat.

  
Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled up.

  
“I couldn’t sleep.” Cas said sheepishly.

  
“Such a dork, Cas.” Dean smirked. “C’mon.”

  
Dean kept hold of Cas’ hand and took him to his bedroom.

  
The bed was a double and the room was immaculate, certainly not expected from a college student.

  
“Where did I hit you?” Dean whispered once they were both settled into bed.

  
“My side, but its okay.”

  
“I hit you hard, Cas.” Dean mumbled and lifted Cas’ shirt up under the covers, tracing Cas’ ribs.

  
“W-what are you doing?” Cas blushed.

  
“I'm checking if I broke something.” Dean continued.

  
Cas yawned. “F-feels....nice....Dean.” He closed his eyes and pretty much passed out, breathing in the familiar scent of the pillows.

  
Dean smiled softly, breathing in Cas’ hair.

  
He knew Benny would give him shit for this in the morning but Dean had never refused Cas to sleep with him all night and he wasn’t going to start now just because of Cas’ sexuality and apparently that made it weird.

  
Everything made sense again when Cas was in his bed, it felt like he was back at home.

  
Besides, Cas just didn’t want to be alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter asap x


	9. One more gift?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam helps Cas deal with his feelings for Dean  
> Dean gets his head out of his ass at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight underage, not really sexual.   
> Cas is 17 (towards the end of the chapter he is days away from 18)  
> Dean is 21  
> By the way, Benny and Cas do know each other because this is Benny, Dean's best friend from childhood.

Dean knew that Benny knew because the living room window had now been shut, the books were picked up from the floor and Cas’ phone was now on the coffee table instead of on the floor.   
Dean decided that he would just have to go and deal with Benny because he needed to get Cas back home before his parents freaked out.   
“Don’t even say anything.” Dean muttered as he went to the kitchen to start on the coffee, Cas was still fast asleep.   
“I wasn’t going to.” Benny looked at Cas’ phone on the table. “But there are a few missed calls from his boyfriend.”   
“So?”  
“He has a boyfriend, Dean.”   
“Yeah, me and Cas are just friends, you know that. Besides I'm straight remember.”   
“Name which guys you would go gay for, including Cas.”   
Dean glared and set his jaw. “Fine, Dr Sexy and Cas. That’s it.”  
“Clint Eastwood”  
“Three, three is normal.”   
“Aaron from the bar, you were totally ready to go home with him.”   
“I was not.”   
“Dean, you moped about for the rest of the night.”   
“Four then.”   
“That FBI agent who poked around here a couple of months back, do not tell me there wasn’t something there.”   
“We were just friendly, stop looking too much into it.”   
“Fine, but if he came up to you ready and willing what would you do?”  
“Five.” Dean sighed. “Wait, six. There was this guy who took my motel room last year remember?”  
Benny immediately started laughing. “Is that why you lifted the sheet up?”  
Dean blushed but laughed. “Yeah and he makes the list. But it doesn’t prove anything; everyone has a go gay for list.”   
“No. I’m sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. get over it, Dean.”   
Dean glowered at Benny but let it go.

  
That’s the exact moment when Cas padded into the room.   
“Morning Hot Wings.” Benny grinned.   
Cas glared.   
“Still not a morning person, huh?”  
“Where’s the coffee?”Cas croaked.   
Dean wordlessly handed him a steaming mug.   
Cas nodded a thank you and sat down on the counter.   
“How’d you sleep?” Benny asked.   
“Fine.” Cas answered, sipping his coffee.   
Dean cleared his throat awkwardly.   
“I was thinking you could stay here for the weekend, Cas. Instead of wasting our Saturday driving back home.”   
“What are you doing?”   
Dean looked to Benny and shrugged. “Nothing much, we could go and catch a movie if you wanted.”  
Cas shook his head. “I've already been to see the ones that are out with Balth.”  
“How is Balth?”  
“We broke up.”

  
Benny choked on his coffee and spluttered it a bit.   
Dean gave him a look to say ‘ _get the hell out of here if you’re gonna be a dick’_.   
Benny went back to his room, smirking at Dean.

  
“Why’d you break up?” Dean leant on the counter, in front of where Cas was sat.   
“It just wasn’t working out.” Cas shrugged.   
“You’ve been together for more than a year, you can’t just say it wasn’t working out, Cas. There’s gotta be more to it than that.”   
Cas looked down. “That’s it. We were at my house last night and we had a fight but then a talk and decided that it would never work out.”   
“But why would it never work out?”  
“He said he didn’t love me and I-.”   
“What?! That punk little shit said that to you?!”   
“Dean, listen. Jesus! I said that I didn’t love him and he said he didn’t love me. Not in love with each other. Sure we care for each other but it was never really romantic.”   
“Then why did you let it go on for so long and why break it off when you did? Cas, dammit, you’re hiding something.”   
“I'm not.” Cas glowered and jumped off the counter, grabbing his phone and keys from the coffee table.   
“I know you, Cas. I know when you’re lying and I know when you’re hiding something. Just tell me so I can help.”   
“If you know me so well, figure it out!” Cas slammed the door behind him and ran down the stairs to the lobby and then to his car.

  
“Dammit!” Dean yelled.   
“So we’re not going to the movies?” Benny shouted from his room.   
“Fuck off, Benny!” Dean slammed his bedroom door.

  
Cas drove angrily all the way home.   
Why did Dean have to be so nosy and why did he have to know when Cas was lying? It wasn’t fair.   
He needed to talk to Sam.   
Cas parked his car back in the garage and went over to Sam’s.

  
“You look awful.” Sam commented when Cas came to sit on his bed.   
“I know, I didn’t shower, and I slept in these clothes. Everything is going to shit, Sam.”   
“What do you mean?” Sam closed his laptop and sat beside Cas on the bed.   
“I broke up with Balth last night; well we both kinda broke it off. It’s confusing.”   
“Why’d that happen?”  
“We were just at my house and I told him that I was in love and he freaked thinking I meant him and then I told him it wasn’t him and he got offended.”   
“Fair enough.”   
“I know but then he started saying it was Crowley, and then he thought it was you and then he guessed and I asked him how he knew and he said he’d always known but thought I’d grow out of it or something. It’s stupid.”   
“Was he really mad?”  
“No, because he was never in love with me either. It was never really romantic to be honest.”   
Sam nodded. “You gonna tell me who you’re in love with?”  
“Dean.”   
“I thought so.”   
“Who else knows? Dammit.” Cas groaned and looked at his feet.   
“Pretty much everyone apart from Dean.” Sam chuckled. “You two are so blind to each other it’s hilarious.”   
“It’s not funny, Sam. I can’t deal with it.”   
“Look, Dean’s far enough back in the closet that he’s found Narnia but I'm pretty sure even he’s noticed his feelings for you.”   
“No, I'm just his brother’s friend. He sees me as a kid.”   
“That’s not true, is that where you were last night? Dean’s?”   
“How’d you know?”   
“Balthazar called me asking where you were and you weren’t at home and you weren’t here. Where else would you go?”  
Cas nodded. “I broke into their apartment.”   
“You’re a dumbass.”   
“Yeah, Dean thought I was robbing him so that was fun.”   
“Baseball bat?”  
“Yeah.”   
“He’s a paranoid dick.” Sam laughed, remembering when he did the exact same a few months ago as a prank.  
“What am I going to do, Sam? He’s 21.”  
“You’ve waited this long, wait a little longer. I bet the minute you turn 18 he’ll be all over you.”   
Cas smirked. “You think so?”  
“Duh. Wanna have some lunch?”   
Cas nodded and followed Sam downstairs to where Mary and John were watching TV.   
“Hey boys, any plans for today?” John asked.   
Sam shook his head. “Not really, we’re about to have some lunch.”

* * *

 

 Cas called Dean on Tuesday night when he couldn’t sleep and he apologised for storming out of the apartment and Dean apologised for being too nosy when it came to Cas’ love life. 

Dean came to visit just before Cas’ 18th birthday; they had an early party for him since Dean was over. They all went out bowling, watching movies and then a big family meal. At the end of the day John gave Cas a beer and they all sat and watched the game together.   
Dean eventually decided he wanted to go to bed and went up, coming down five minutes later, looking straight at Cas.   
“Are you coming or what?”  
Cas smiled and gave the rest of his beer to Sam, going upstairs to join Dean.

  
They lay as they did back in Dean’s apartment, Dean lightly tracing Cas’ ribs.   
“You were born later than expected right?”  
“No, two weeks premature. Why?” Cas scrunched his eyebrows at the random question.   
“Screw it, turn around.”   
Cas sighed but turned to face Dean. “What?”  
“Since today is your 18th birthday.”   
“It’s not, my birthday is next week.”   
“Not in my books, you’re 18 today.”   
Cas rolled his eyes. “Go on.”   
“I want to give you your present.”   
“You already got me one.”   
“A different one, I didn’t want anyone to see this one. It’s more personal.”   
Dean’s heart was racing; it felt like it was in his throat.   
“What is it?”  
“Remember back when you were 12 and I taught you how to kiss someone?”  
Cas nodded.   
Dean grinned but half closed his eyes, leaning forwards.   
“Oh.” Cas’ breath caught but he shakily put his hand on Dean’s cheek which was red hot.   
Dean closed his eyes completely.   
Cas tilted his head to the left and leant closer; leaving Dean sometime to pull away but when he didn’t Cas met his lips.   
Dean instantly pushed forwards harder and grabbed the back of Cas’ neck.   
Cas melted into Dean’s touches and pushed against him, to get more of Dean.   
Dean pulled away out of breath.

“Happy birthday, Cas.” He grinned.   
“I liked that gift.”   
“I hoped you would.” Dean blushed and lay back down, pulling Cas down with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last one guys!


	10. How did they manage that?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is perfect.   
> Dean is 32  
> Cas is 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short, but something to end with.

Ten years later Cas and Dean were married and living in Florida.

  
They’d had a daughter through a surrogate mother, she was obviously Dean’s biologically with her blonde hair and green eyes but Cas adored her nevertheless.

  
They usually spent Christmas with Dean’s family but because last year was Harper’s first Christmas they decided to spend it just the three of them.

  
This year however, Harper knew what was going on a little more and squealed each time she saw a picture of Santa Claus.

  
Mary realised half way through Christmas night that she hadn’t left an air mattress for one of Dean or Cas to sleep on, she immediately went to get one and went to Dean’s old bedroom, and started laughing almost hysterically.

  
Cas and Dean, two fully grown men, had somehow managed to squeeze themselves into that tiny old single bed, Dean hanging off the edge and Cas falling down the gap in between the wall and the bed but Mary saw how their hands were clasped together.

  
Harper was wriggling in her carry cot in her sleep, getting ready to cry.

  
Mary picked up her granddaughter and let her son and her son-in-law sleep for the fullnight, despite how uncomfortable they both looked. 

 

They woke up the next morning with aching necks and both of them mostly on the floor.

 

"I need more sleep." Cas groaned.

Dean nodded in agreement, they managed to squeeze in the bed again, Dean wrigging his arm under the covers to lift Cas' shirt and began tracing his husband's ribs softly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your kind words and your support with this fic, I appreciate it all.   
> If you have anything you'd like me to write just message me and I'll write for you.   
> Ebz xx


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